tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
