no, he came in my armpit
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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