theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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