I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Me too!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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