I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
