So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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