forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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