I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
