yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Randomize