definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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