i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
