You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize