i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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