at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
