he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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