doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
not ubering you a puppy
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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