I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
