her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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