Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
