Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
