dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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