If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
