Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There's even glitter on my cock...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize