She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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