I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
