In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
