I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I love you.
Bad choice
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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