i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
