There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
