Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You made out with two different species that night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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