worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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