Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
