We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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