can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
