My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
