I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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