Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
