who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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