i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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