We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
