ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's shark week go big or go home
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
