yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
