I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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