bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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