is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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