:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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