Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
