i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
