First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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