oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
