Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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