She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just googled if crying burns calories
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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