What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
