3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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