is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He passed out mid-signature
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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