I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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