After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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