I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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