Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
