Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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