I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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