it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You may now shotgun with the bride
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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