Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
