these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
