Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
