At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
