a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
