I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
