i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Come share oat with me in your robe
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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