the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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