new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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