by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
