So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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