Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
