That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
As shirtless as possible
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
